Imposter Syndrome: What It Is, Why It Happens, and How ACT Can Help
What is Imposter Syndrome?
"Imposter Syndrome" is a popular term for a pattern of thinking where a person feels like a fraud. Despite clear evidence of competence or professional success, the internal narrative remains: “I’m not good enough, and it’s only a matter of time before they find out.”
Common thoughts may sound like:
"I don’t actually know what I’m doing."
"Anyone else could do this better than I can."
"I don’t deserve the recognition I’m getting."
The emotional and physical toll:
Fear: A constant dread that you will be "discovered" and face catastrophic consequences.
Low Self-Esteem: Feelings of depression or feeling trapped in a role because you don't believe you can do anything else.
Burnout: The sheer emotional exhaustion of constantly fighting these thoughts and trying to "prove" them wrong.
How People Cope With Imposter Syndrome
When we feel like an imposter, we often fall into two defensive traps:
Overworking: Working longer and harder to prove the "fraud" narrative wrong, leading to burnout.
Hiding: Accepting the narrative as truth and trying to "fly under the radar"—passing up growth opportunities because we fear our perceived lack of skill will be exposed.
A Therapist’s Story: My Experience With Imposter Syndrome
For years, I lived under the spell of Imposter Syndrome. I would toss employee recognition plaques in the back of a drawer, and soon return to fretting that I wasn't efficient enough, or knowledgeable enough. Even when my supervisor reassured me, my mind would simply question their competence instead of accepting the praise.
Three things helped break the spell:
Connection: My father, highly respected in his field, shared that he struggled with these same feelings. Knowing I wasn't alone was a relief.
A Forced Shift: An amalgamation led to the loss of my job. Being thrust out of my "hiding spot" forced me to take risks and discover my skills in a new context.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): I found The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris, which introduced me to ACT.
How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Helps With Imposter Syndrome
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a mindfulness-based approach that focuses less on getting rid of self-doubt and more on changing how we relate to it. Instead of trying to argue with imposter thoughts or replace them with positive ones, ACT helps people identify what matters most deep in their hearts, and equips them with tools to help pursue those things, even though difficult thoughts and feelings will inevitably arise.
ACT taught me that my thoughts and feelings do not define who I am. I learned that:
You are not your story: There is a "deeper you" beyond the narratives your mind creates or absorbs from the world around you.
Struggling is human: All of us get stuck in unhelpful patterns. It's a normal part of the human experience, not a personal failing.
You can "unhook": Instead of reacting to scary thoughts by hiding or overworking, you can acknowledge them, connect with that deeper self, and choose a wiser response, guided by what really matters to you.
Self-compassion is key: Doubts will arise again, and that’s okay. Practicing kindness toward yourself makes the journey manageable.
Living With Imposter Syndrome Without Letting It Take Over
I still have "imposter" thoughts, but I am much faster at noticing them now. I recognize that the discomfort comes from a good place—because my work is important to me and I want to do a good job.
Rather than being driven by the thoughts, I can step back and notice what triggered them. From this perspective, I’ve learned to distinguish between two needs:
Skill Building: Sometimes I genuinely need to learn a new skill or solve a workflow issue. This isn’t because I’m a fraud; it’s because growth is normal for a healthy human being.
Shifting Focus: Other times, I just need to normalize the discomfort, acknowledge the thought, and shift my attention back to what matters here and now.
It’s not always easy, and sometimes therapists need therapists too. But, the spell of “imposter syndrome” is broken. I can recognize it as just an old pattern that hooks me from time to time, and I have some great “spell breaking” tools. You can learn to use them too.
Therapy for Imposter Syndrome
If you are tired of feeling like a fraud and want to start living more authentically, I would love to support you.